7 Convos You’re Guaranteed to Overhear in Post-Secondary

“I’m so over this class.”
“I can’t wait until we’re done.”
“How did you do on your essay?”

We’re all guilty of these statements. Truthfully, it’s hard to avoid them. School is like work; college and university students attend multiple classes for several hours a week, so naturally it becomes instinctive to collectively complain or brag about the fact that we only had time to brush our teeth while simultaneously studying for three exams. Here are seven conversations you’re bound to take part in or overhear in college and university, as suggested by a number of fellow students and personal experiences.

1. “YEAH, I’M TAKING INTRO TO SOCIOLOGY. IT’S A BIRD COURSE.”

You’ll hear this term a lot. There’s even a website that provides an organized list of courses rated 1–5 in “birdiness.” Don’t buy into it. Sure, you can probably place the class below “Mechanics and Special Relativity” on your priority list, but just be wary that doing so might put you in harm’s way. (I know plenty of people who skipped their “bird” courses on the regular and ended up crying on the phone with their academic advisors by semester’s end.) You may find that some of these classes regurgitate a lot of seemingly useless information, but you’ll be thanking yourself a year or so later when you’re asked to write a 15-page research paper on Marxist theory.

2. “I DESERVE A BETTER GRADE THAN THIS! THE TA OBVIOUSLY DOESN’T KNOW WHAT SHE’S TALKING ABOUT/MUST BE DRUNK.”

Most assignments have distinct guidelines. Follow them. If you abide by the word count, apply what you’ve learned in an original and productive way, and avoid waiting until the last minute to complete an assignment, these words will never have to spew so bitterly from your mouth. Plus, it’s better to make nice with your teaching assistant as opposed to creating an enemy. If you do have legitimate concerns about your grade, try shooting your TA a non-incriminating email or dropping in during office hours instead.

3. “I STUDIED [X] HOURS FOR THAT TEST.”

Whether it’s 20 hours or 30 minutes, no one cares. Enough said.

4. “I PULLED AN ALL-NIGHTER TO FINISH THIS ASSIGNMENT. I DON’T THINK I’VE SLEPT FOR DAYS.”

Is this statement supposed to make others feel inferior for not doing the same? I’m sorry, but I love my sleep and I’m definitely not going to give it up for academics’ sake. Fine, I will admit that I’ve been led astray by the influences of procrastination, but that doesn’t mean I wasn’t able to fall into a deep, open-mouthed slumber or at least fit in a solid nap. In fact, who wouldn’t give in to the temptation to nap?

In most cases, students who complain about all-nighters typically nap from 10 p.m.–2 a.m. and stay up the rest of the night watching panda cubs slipping down slides on YouTube and half-heartedly working on their projects in between. Granted, there are cases when you and other students might be speaking the truth, especially during the exam crunch. But with a good sense of time management and a willingness to miss out on the occasional “Thirsty Thursday,” you’ll be caught up on homework in no time and sleeping like a champ!

5. “I’D RATHER DIE THAN GO TO THAT 8 A.M. CLASS!”

Stop. Re-evaluate your life for a hot second. There are millions of people who would do anything to be in your shoes right now, so a few sacrifices here and there aren’t worth “dying” over. I’ve been guilty of this statement a few times, myself, but always end up kicking myself for it afterwards. The only time this might be acceptable is when you have the worst hangover of life. But, then again, that was your fault.

6. “HELP ME, I’M POOR…”

This is allowed because it’s most likely entirely valid. Just be prepared for a Liz Lemon eye roll.

7. “ARE THEY SERVING FOOD?”

You’ll definitely find yourself guilty of uttering this all-important question. Because no matter the event, there sure as hell better be free food!

Photo courtesy: Rosie Noronha