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Picture this.

You’ve finally convinced yourself that spending half of this month’s rent on a music festival ticket is totally worth it. You’ve envisioned a weekend get-away with good music, good hair and good company.

But when you drive up to the front gates and check in with the angsty teenage-staff who would probably sell their soul for a high-five, you realize that the ice you brought to last the weekend is already half melted, your deodorant seems to have forgotten its purpose and back-sweat from the leather car seat has become an unfortunate reality.

What could have been the best weekend ever has turned into the sweatiest, pukiest, smelliest long weekend of your life.

If only you had read a checklist before you left so that you could have been better prepared for what was to come…

1) The individual who won’t sleep until the world knows they’re at a music festival.

You’re there for the experience, sure. But you’re mainly there for the gram. You should know that your phone battery life is of the essence and if you’d like to document every minute of the festival – you will likely need a portable charger and a battery charging phone case. Oh, and a selfie stick, obviously.

2) The fair-skinned.

Our very pale friends know how much the sun demands to be recognized.

You want to be out in the fields with your olive-skinned friends but just the thought of being in extreme heat for 72 hours makes you queasy.

They say sunburns and blisters are just part of the experience. They are terrible liars and you shouldn’t listen to them.

A portable sport umbrella is a good call, so is good ol’ sunscreen. Fresh sunnies are also recommended.

3) The young adult that really likes EDM, Rap music and sitting on people’s shoulders.

Veld and Digital dreams are right around the corner. People will probably bedazzle their faces and wear bright colours. Don’t be a party pooper, join the festivities and do your best impression of a woodland elf.

4) The vegan.

You have specific dietary needs and going to WAYHOME or BONNAROO seems to fit your aesthetic. Your alkaline body is craving more than 8 dollar beers and room temperature water.

As a vegan has-been who has attended a music festival, I know that food isn’t always as accessible to us as it is to our meat-lover friends. Bring food options that you can keep in your bag. Seriously, you will thank me later.

Gluten free snacks and vegan protein smoothies are your friend.

5) The girl who has “good-vibes” tattooed on her body and drinks water out of mason jars because it’s better for the environment.

You’re one with nature and you’d like to keep it that way. S’well bottles and reusable food containers for all!

6) The 20 year old dude who’s FTB and really likes camping/fishing.

Going to Boots and Hearts? You’ll need just these essentials.

Pong table. Guitar. Cooler.

7) The individual that genuinely loves music festivals.  

The heat doesn’t bother you. You know every lyric to every song from every band in the line-up. Your phone has been dead for two days but that’s okay because you’re “in the moment”. You’re not that hungry and you brought enough beverages.

You might enjoy this…

8) The girl who wishes she was ALL-THE-WAY-HOME.

Your friends told you there would be hammocks and phone-charging stations and all-around good vibrations. They failed to tell you that the sun doesn’t pick favourites and that flip-flops were a heinous idea and that by the end of the trip you would find dirt in areas of your body that you didn’t even know existed.

Don’t regret the festival. Rally with white Chucks, dry shampoo, aloe for any burns and baby wipes for everything else.

Whether you are the person who loves music festivals or the person who wants to love music festivals, I hope these Amazon products make your experience the best that it can be.

Stay clean. Stay hydrated. Stay sane.