Let’s just breathe, and say them together. It’s easier that way.

“I don’t have nearly enough shirts or pants for the hours they’re working me.”

It’s just illogical to give somebody one shirt if you’re going to work them over forty hours a week.

“My shirt only slightly smells. It’ll do.”

You can’t be expected to come to work in a freshly-laundered, wrinkle-free shirt every day of the week if you ONLY HAVE ONE SHIRT.

“I’m scheduled until eight, but don’t pick me up until midnight. Hopefully I’ll be out by then.”

It remains a mystery why management doesn’t schedule you until a reasonable point after closing. I.e. when it’s realistic for you to leave.

“You are the best. Ever. In the whole wide world.”

Because when your coworkers have your back (or save your behind) you love them like they’re family.

“Please rain, please rain, please rain.”

For when you’re so not in the mood to work, and you’re hoping the weather will help scare customers away. Sometimes you even do a rain dance.

“Hey, do you have plans on Friday night?”

This is how you figure out whether your coworker can be talked into covering your shift on Friday. Cue the schmoozing.

“I’d love to hang out! Which weekday works best for ya?”

Because you kissed your weekends goodbye when you signed up for this job. You no longer have normal person weekends.

“Shit.”

When it hits the fan.

“Damn it, I got double-sat.”

It sucks when the hosts give you two tables at once. How are you supposed to juggle two tables of needy guests at the same time?

“Phew.”

At the end of the day, things usually get resolved.